USNay!

Have you booked your flights yet? Have you told your cousins in Boston to meet you at the hot-dog stall at gate 4 outside the stadium?

What time does the train, plane and automobile leave for Dundee v Celtic in the USA?

Yipee ki-ay! Go Celtic! Go the Duns of the Dee!

Yes folks, it’s the latest hair-brain idea to increase revenue on someone else’s patch.

I can understand clubs contemplating buying a franchise, but this latest plan to stage a Scottish league game in the USA is going nowhere and if it does go somewhere, many questions will be asked, before it eventually dies on its backside. (The Americans have another word for backside too……….insert here)

Just as sure as the turkeys don’t vote for Christmas and the English clubs won’t allow Celtic or Rangers into their leagues, this one will be shot down by the MLS, just like Butch and Sundance at the end of the movie.

Yip, we all know why they are trying it, but what makes anyone here think the football authorities in America are going to welcome outsiders to take a slice of their revenue, when the Yanks are trying to build the sport called soccer in their own backyard.

The MLS have already slammed the door on England’s top flight, a much higher standard of product than ours, from playing the 39th game across the Atlantic.

Are we to believe the ex-pats will drive this through, such is their desire to see the Bhoys and the Dees lock big-horns stateside?

There is also the small matter of revenue and who gets what?

Do Celtic and Dundee get the first game takings and then everyone gets a shot?

Do the SPFL take it all, gate money, merchandise and other sundries, including TV?

Do the Americans get a cut for allowing it?

Do we then distribute the bucks fairly across the clubs that ain’t playing in the land of the free?

No sir-ee, this one is doomed, but get ready for the spin on all the benefits for one or two clubs before the razzmatazz is eventually replaced with reality.

The SPFL would be better off trying to get a TV deal, similar to the Chinese one, with the Americans or anyone else willing to watch our football on a regular basis.

Small steps across many borders for everyone’s benefit is a better strategy than entertaining an American pie in the sky idea from Dundee’s US owners or anyone else.

That’s all folks!

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